What is this trap we fall into all the time? We’re like kids down by the river at midnight. Out past curfew. Snuck past our parents sleeping in easy chairs. Staying out under stars, making love till the morning dew comes.

I don’t know, she said. Looking at you, I want to believe. Believe in our love. But, then something happens.

It all falls apart, he said. You look at me a certain way. Say the wrong thing. I take off.

Don’t see you for days.

Some bender over in Ohio. Hanging out in bars. Looking for someone to replace you. But I can never find her. That woman doesn’t exist. She’s just a dream. You’re a dream.

Sure I’m not a nightmare? she asked. It’s hard to say goodbye. Hard to watch you walk out that door. But I do. I hear the truck start up. See you pulling out of the driveway. The headlights shine inside the front room. And, I just sit here waiting. The whole time. Just waiting on you to come back home. It’s not fair. What you do to me is not fair.

I was going to say the same thing, he said. He lit up a cigarette. Tossed the match in the over-filled ashtray. Butts spilling out onto the table. At times I love you so much, I don’t know what to say. Don’t know what to do. We are those kids down by the river at midnight. And then, we’re my mom and dad. Fighting all the time. You hit me. I punch a wall. Drywall is getting expensive, they both laughed.

You can say that again.

Maybe it’s best if I take off for a while. Not just two or three days, but longer. Go somewhere. Find out what I’m looking for.

You can’t keep running all the time , she told him. She poured herself a whiskey. Hands were shaking. You’ll be gone for two months. You’ll come back here and what? Same thing. No. You leave this time it’s for good, they looked at each other.

Yeah.

Yeah. Make your choice.

He kissed her on the forehead. Brushed back her long blonde hair. Walked out the door. She watched as the truck pulled out of the driveway. Headlights blinded her. She poured herself another drink.