Did you know him?

No. Not really. Read about him this morning. He seemed like a nice man; wife and kids. Liked to build things with his hands. That’s what the paper said.

Yes. He was a craftsman. Made grandfather clocks and cedar chests. I have a clock he gave me for Christmas one year. My wife. She hates it. Chimes throughout the night. Hangs on our wall in the  living room. Now it will be a memory of him.

I see.

Why are you here?

The food mainly. Always a lovely spread at these events. Casseroles,  salads, jello molds of different colors with fruit in them; the little oranges, bits of apple. Yes. Quite lovely indeed.

This is a practice of yours?

Every day, I read the obituaries. Curious about lives lived. Survived by such and such. Wife of whoever for fifty years. Died suddenly. Try to avoid those. Too sad of a crowd. Or kids killed by drunk drivers. Never know what to expect there. But usually no alcohol.

How often do you do this?

I don’t know. Three or four times a week. Whenever I get hungry. I give the loved ones my condolences. Then, make my way in line for my plate. I prefer China over paper.

I see. Has anyone ever kicked you out?

Not yet. I’m very quick. Get in and get out, I always say. Like a bank job. Take the money and run.

Nice chatting with you.

Yes. Let’s do it again sometime.