Buy a vowel, Bell yelled at the TV. You stupid bitch buy a vowel. 

I’ll take a J , said the teacher from Peoria.

Stupid bitch, Bell pointed at her drink. I’ll take another, she told the bartender. Buy a fucking vowel.  That’s all she needed to do. The bartender poured the speed rack whiskey in her glass.

Bzzzz. Sorry, my dear, there’s no J, Sajak said. Come on now. Spin that wheel.

I’d like to buy a vowel,  said the Air Force Private.

Vanna turned the letter E.

I’d like to solve the puzzle, Pat.

Go right ahead.

LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE, Bell said with the military man.

Who didn’t see that coming? She asked the whole bar. Hit me again.

Last one, Bell. The short older woman with a cigarette dangling from her thin lips told the lady of the night, evening, and afternoon.

OK. I’ll be good. Just let me finish this in peace, Bell said. I should be on that show.  I could win a new car. And I’d drive it everywhere. I’d drive it out West and down South. I’d drive it up to Canada. Some place exotic. I’d let my hair down and just go.

Your hair is already down, the barkeep laughed. Has been for years.

Alright, alright. I know when I’m not wanted. Goodnight, nurse.

She’d been going into bars since she was seventeen. Fake I.D. from the state of Vermont. Some name on it. Ashley Jensen. That’s what she went by. Told folks just to call her Ash.

Like her father, she had a love for whiskey and cheap beer. She used to sip from his bottles when she was just a kid. He was too drunk to know, and Maggie could not tell. The mother thought she was just unbalanced. She called Bell her special child.

Bell staggered across the street to the other dive bar. Placed a ten on the bar and said, One for the road. Fill her up.

And, the bartender did. He poured the whiskey slowly. It seemed slow to Bell. Every little drop going into the glass. No ice. She drank it neat. Straight up.

Could I get a beer back? She asked the old fat man.

Sure, hon. What do you want?

Just a shorty of Miller Lite.

Gotcha. I’ll take two from you.

Two bucks for a shorty?

This is a business, Bell. You know. Like your business. You don’t give it away for free now, do you?

No, I do not. I certainly do not.

I get off in an hour, he said. Same deal?

Same deal.