not allowed

always waiting…and waiting to be waiting….to be loved….understood…maybe just considered…per chance chosen among the many…

entering your chambers…where comfort was sought…again and again and again…only to be told,…take a number…form a straight line…all will be served…

and the price of love was costly…anguish…heartache…pride tossed out…to be made the fool over and over while the body hurts…the soul burns…

the dance was over way too quick…did either get what they wanted….no one ever does….

love lies  in fear…hidden behind potions and spells cast upon us long ago…by other lovers…who punished and pricked your skin…

but…not i…not i…never was a trace left…not a mark…not a scratch…gossamer skin left perfect…

so in your fort you will stay…forever and ever…amongst the boys who ask of favors…the wines still to be drunk…and the notepads of names written from the past….

attempts at your heart…only in vain…a saint left behind near a bed where words were whispered throughout the night…,shhhhh you said…,shhhh…you are not allowed to love me…you are not allowed…

and i will always wonder…who is…

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