alone

there were fears for a real long time…just scared…always scared…

of what…

of being alone…by myself…

uh huh…

at the end of it all…alone…no-one wants to be alone…can you take solace in being alone…I don’t think so…

no…that’s why there’s shopping malls…Mc Donald’s…churches…group therapies…

you think…

yes…to save us from being alone…go join the masses…right…there’s a thousand places to go by yourself but the chosen spot is amongst the people…

yes…

and at night in America…hell …the former Soviet block…maybe the Philippines too…there’s that sick feeling you get by yourself…under covers…curled-up…wanting someone to hold…to hold onto you…scared of the dark…

I know that feeling….

wanting the sun to come out…ending night… alone is put aside…for awhile…for awhile…

too short a time….

what…

I said too short a time…

yes…and you go back home where the night begins again…comforted by what…a TV…a paperback…old records…leftover Chinese…

right…

and the lonliness…the lonliness…yes…until one day…

one day what…

just…one day the mind changes…the soul hits a restart button…gears shift…

to…

to something new…something new…you can’t place it…don’t know what it is…or…how it got there…but…it’s there…truth is seen…after years…walls come down…barriers…placed there by who…by what…a death…a divorce…fired…never hired…an illness…myths…

what…

thinking it all should have turned out differently…if this choice had been made…or…that mistake wasn’t committed…right…

yes…yes…

this transformation…this turnabout…seeing life again…something…

instead of…

instead of emptiness….instead of being alone…you can be alone and not be alone…

that’s what I want…

that’s what everybody wants…

Published by: dmseay

The writing is based on my surroundings and what I've been surrounded by. This language is coarse and politically incorrect; which I make no apologies for. These characters are not nice and to use any other dialogue would be disingenuine. That being said, I choose to roll the dice. dm seay

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