time to go…

showed his cards….

broken…broke….lonely…mad at God…this god he knew from the King James text of old… no messiah in waiting…could care less if jesus came to town in a busted-up Chevy or a fixed-up Ford…sometimes you just feel that way…

He took my wife… money… nothin’…., old man said, wonderin’ whether or not to keep goin’…, never seen him tremble…shake…, maybe you know what that’s like, nodded…, not easy…., just looked…kept looking….waiting on pop…

you didn’t do ROTC…wouldn’t know ’bout that…makes you a man…no crying…

how so….

they’d make ya do twenty laps ’round the football field with an M16 ‘bove your head…what they’d do…

ever happen to you…

oh yea…plenty ah’ times…

whatd’ya want to cry ’bout….

don’t know…can’t ‘member…, stared off into space… Schnauzers barked…more shit to clean-up….

never cried when your mom died…never did…

‘ats not what i heard……

mmm….maybe I did…don’t know…just taught men don’t do that…

see…

facing bankruptcy…switchin’ money from one account to another…wanna leave all ah’ this…this place…this town…leave…

O.K. ….

you ever wanna die…really die…

everyday….

I’m scared…

i know…

…go home…

no….fine…

be alright…

…k…

leave the car….

can’t….

my car…

sure…

if I kill myself then I kill myself….

fine..you wanna’ kill yourself…i’ll show you how to kill yourself…but you’re not gonna take anybody with ya’….got it…

take that car and I’ll call the cops…,started crying…

i know… get it…

do ya…do ya…

yea…

and we sat there….dad and i…till’ he fell asleep…mumbling ’bout old girlfriends…wanting a Pepsi…snoring…

time to go….

 

 

 

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