ssi blues…

in constant thought…
being done…
finished with this…
onto something new…

retracing old steps…
what went wrong…
all the way back to 5 …
didn’t want to be alive…

always thinking about…a final jump…bottles of pills…run-over by a bus…shot to the head…knife to the vein…just drink…and drink…and drink…a slow suicide…

bipolar1…
chemical imbalance…
manic-depression…
crazy…just plain crazy…

retracing old steps…
what went wrong…
all the way back to 5…
didn’t want to be alive…

everyday…wanting to end life…a crying episode…bottled screams….Wilco songs that break you down…,I am trying to break your heart…I am trying to break your heart…

2 attempts…
31 hospitalizations….
18 w2 forms…in a year…
living on $735 a month…

why…
fear of living…
frightened by past…
haunted by present…

retracing old steps…
what went wrong…
all the way back to 5…
didn’t want to be alive…

and is this masturbation…
self-pity…
these feelings of sorrow…
keep it to yourself…keep it to yourself…

tis more than just a bad day…
bluer than the blues…
a wanting…craving…
perhaps you feel this too…

what is happiness…
knowing salvation…
to be loved…
new sweater…

tis nothing…
nothing…
nothing…
tis nothing…

retracing old steps…
what went wrong…
all the way back to 5…
didn’t want to be alive…

I am trying to break your heart…written by Jeff Tweedy of Wilco….1st song on Yankee Hotel Foxtrot…

Published by: dmseay

The writing is based on my surroundings and what I've been surrounded by. This language is coarse and politically incorrect; which I make no apologies for. These characters are not nice and to use any other dialogue would be disingenuine. That being said, I choose to roll the dice. dm seay

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