that’s what he wanted…

he said he was tired of life…no longer any possibilities…just dead-ends…or…circles…a long round circle that you can never get out of…keeps repeatin’ itself…over and over and over…never lets up…least that’s what he said…

could tell he was headin’ into no-man’s land long time ago…’bout the time mom died…seemed to just let-go of everything in his life…things that used to be important were no-longer important…all those rules he had for his life…broken…he was broken…

gave-up on takin’ care of himself…let his body begin to smell…stopped showerin’…shavin’…wore the same old clothes everyday…blue jeans and a flannel…could have been 100 outside and he still wore that flannel…buttoned it all the way…

he told me…,I’m done…I’m truly done with this life…, said with a sober tone…, let me go ’bout my business now…, he nodded…,let me go on now…I won’t make no fuss…just let me go…

so…i let him…i let him close his eyes…let him go into the big sleep…that’s what he wanted…
that’s what he wanted…

goodnight pops…

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