I can live with that…

she was always worried he’d never come back…every time he left the house this thought crossed her mind…where’s he really goin’ to…does he really need another pack of smokes…are friends catchin’ a game with him at the bar…what’s he up to…

one night he told her he was goin’ out for a ride…just a drive ’round town…maybe out on the innerstate to get up some speed to ease his mind a bit…listen to some jazz…calm himself down from hectic schedules and everyday life…told her he needed to take it easy for an hour or two…just an hour or two…

an hour became two hours…then three became four…four became all night…gone all night…wouldn’t answer his phone…no regard to numerous text messages …he let it all be…let it all be…thought of callin’ her to explain the reason behind his wanderin’…then decided not to…not just yet…

as the Sun come up he was far away from home…she was worried…not ’bout a crash…didn’t care ’bout some kind of heart attack behind the wheel…those thoughts crossed her mind…no…she was wantin’ to know if she had lost her man…if he was finally done with her…gone for good…

hadn’t slept a wink all night…went to the freezer to grab a can of coffee…that’s when the phone rang…short staccato little buzzes on her cellphone…his name lit up…

you knew one day it would come to this…, he said…knew one day i’d take off and never come back…wasn’t that always in the back of your mind…, he whispered…, wasn’t it…

she didn’t sob…didn’t shed a tear…just sat there in silence as he kept talkin’ and talkin’…full-on sentences…a monologue as to why he left…various reasons…pressures from the job…kids were too much…his needs weren’t bein’ met…she listened…

but at the end of it all… he finally said he just never loved her…twelve years of marriage… a house..kids…dogs…Sunday dinners…PTA meetings…he just never loved her…and he felt bad ’bout that… real bad…felt bad ’bout livin’ a lie for so many years…so many years…

and she asked him…in a low voice…, at the alter…when you said I do…did ya mean it…did ya love me then…

yes…, he said…, yes i did…

well…I can live with that…I can live with that…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s