the medallion…poem 8

i called her…after years of not talking…years after it had ended between us…her accusations…my distrust…a lack of love between both of us…i reached out to her…she was the first person i thought of when i got out of Bellevue…for some reason i kept her number…wanting to discard it as if it were a person i could just throw away at any given moment…for some reason i kept the number…

maybe she was the last person i had…my last hope…burned a lot of bridges with bipolar…old friends who i yelled at in purple hours when the moon was full…lovers of whom i told to get lost out of rage only to awaken the next morning feeling alone and ashamed of my actions…old jobs i never showed up on…or did only to start working then quiting after a week…one year i had 18 W2 forms mailed to me for my taxes…18 jobs i had gone through within a year…only to be pennyless and on the streets…

but why her…why did i need to hear her voice…a woman who had guilted me…embarrased me in public with her white trash ways…talking like a Teamster in a public john…trying desperately to impress other drivers with tales from the bedroom…the backs of cabs…the stunts she had pulled at both my weddings with stories of when i was younger…lies i had told…thefts i had committed…

and yet i felt the need to reconnect with this woman…this woman i had known all my life…a woman who hung ’round my neck like a heavy anchor for all to see…her massive girth giving way to public pointing…i heard people at shopping malls snicker as we walked by…saw kids make wild gestures of this fat woman as she tried to get in and out of her car…i hated this woman…yet at the same time when i found myself down on my luck…she was all i had…

so i called her…i called her….i remember her heavy breathing…her need to always be right…so desperately trying to sound important…as if she had something to offer about food…film…books…politics…religion…religion being her forte…she was an expert in punishing…and thats what she did…she punished…

Published by: dmseay

The writing is based on my surroundings and what I've been surrounded by. This language is coarse and politically incorrect; which I make no apologies for. These characters are not nice and to use any other dialogue would be disingenuine. That being said, I choose to roll the dice. dm seay

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