the medallion…poem 9

the windows looked out onto the city…for hours i would stare at dear old Manhattan…wouldn’t eat breakfast nor lunch…just spent mornings and afternoons looking out at roofs…buildings…parks below…clouds among sunny New York skies…and people walking as car horns sound and sirens wail…i spent time looking out windows…wanting to be a part of it yet at the same time scared of when i would be released…no money…no plans…just day to day existence in a city that does not care…a country of commerce…no place for the poor…

and i was asked if i still wanted to kill myself…yes…, i replied…, but i have no plan…and if the thoughts get too bad i know where to come…back to Bellevue…back to looking out windows…, i said…and with that i was free to go…free to report right next door to Bellevue Homeless Shelter on 1st Avenue…an old building that housed the crazies…the criminals…convicts…and anyone else among the thousands without a home on an island stolen from Indians long ago…

frisked upon arrival…sent to a room waiting for my name to be called…what name…i had no name..no possessions…everything had been lost along the way…pawning this…selling that…300 jazz albums gone…a library vanished…blankets and a cozy bed…no-longer the case…no name…no pride…the desk clerk just pointed at a page with a number on it…i was now a number…NQ73478C…that was me…picture on a card to prove it…

was taken upstairs and shown a room with a steel door…two bunks…two lockers…dark…very dark…you could hear the mice running across the concrete floor and feel the bedbugs bite the minute you laid down on the thin mattress…i sat there in the dark…waiting for morn…waiting for morn…hours of sleepless nights… alone in a cell…no prayers…no meditations… just moaning from down the hall…moaning from men without…men without…

this would be home for awhile…this would be home…

Published by: dmseay

The writing is based on my surroundings and what I've been surrounded by. This language is coarse and politically incorrect; which I make no apologies for. These characters are not nice and to use any other dialogue would be disingenuine. That being said, I choose to roll the dice. dm seay

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