the medallion…poem 13

guys had been there for years…hole’d up in a homeless shelter that felt like a prison…an old prison with no improvements made to it over time…just a slow decay of brick and mortar…matresses infested with bedbugs…showers with mildew…and the constant smell of shit…human shit…rat shit…pigeon shit…feces thrown by people at people…vomit never cleaned up…the smell of humanity in a most fowl way…this was the place guys called home…called home…

and it was my home too for a while…i used it as a place to lay my head at night amongst the cockroaches…the midnight howlings of men crying out for their sins…guards picking fights…wild laughter…porn watched on cellphones…messages sent out to other vagabonds in the dark…a blue hue glowing from black…brown…and white hands holding onto the only property they had…no home…no family…no clothes…no jobs…but downloads were had by all…thousands of porn movies packed into a little device…guys coming in silence…lips sealed shut…sealed shut…

i kept my cool…no fights…no arguments…never forced into anything…never approached to commit a sin…when you’re a 300 pound crazy person…people tend to steer clear…keeping to myself was my best option…a constant conversation inside my head…questioning…always questioning how i wound up in a place with other crazies…cut-throats…cons…men down on their luck…addicts of something…we were all addicts of something…

for some it was crack…others it was heroine…porn played a part in all of our lives…whores bought and sold for scratch…a thousand souls in one building and not a single one cleansed…blood spilled for nothing…blood spilled for nothing…

no good deed goes unpunished…

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