he kept pointing at his mouth…his throat…saying something…couldn’t make it out…water didn’t help…he spit it out…he was turning blue…a pale shade of blue…

and…I sat there…watched…looked at him choking…pointing desperately at his neck…he couldn’t breathe…I was motionless…just sat there…watching…watching…

part of me wanted to help…but then I paused…I’d never seen anybody die before…and…as he got closer to the end…he looked at me…stared at me right in the eyes…as if to say…aren’t you going to do something…

and…the more he stared the more I didn’t want to help him…I wanted to see him die…choke to death on a dry piece of hamburger…that was my wish…

finally he came up for air…he was wheezing…coughing…color was returning to his face…he would live…he would live…

so…I walked away…