Already Gone

He asked her what she wanted? Told her he’d give her anything. She just shook her head and took a sip of coffee. The young lady didn’t say a word. Instead she just sat there. In silence. He felt like he was talking to himself. Saying words out loud. Asked her if she wanted more coffee? Pushed her cup forward towards him. He picked it up and started to cross the kitchen, but she stopped him with her hand. Wrapped her arm ’round his leg. Leaned her pretty blonde head against his hip. He brushed her hair. Said, It’ll be alright. It’ll be alright, continued on to the counter where he poured her another cup with some sugar and cream.

You feel bad ’bout what you done?, asked as he sat the cup down in front of her. Think you made a mistake?, she took a sip, swished it around in her mouth. That happened a while ago honey, he reached out for her hand. All you gotta do is say you’re sorry.

That won’t make it go away, she said softly in a whisper. I did a terrible thing. I can’t expect him to ever forgive me for it.

Hey. He wasn’t no saint. He made mistakes as well.

Not like this dad. Not like this.

I see.

You ever cheat on mom?, he shook his gray head no. You were married for fifty years and you never once cheated on her?

He shook his head again and said, No I did not. Had plenty of opportunities, but, I never did.

You’re makin’ me feel real good ’bout myself.

Go on back home to him tomorrow. Tell him you’re sorry.

No. It’s too late. He’s done made up his mind. And, I guess I have too.

Do you love him?, she stared at the black and white photograph that hung on the wall. Just stared at it for a minute or two.

No. I never did.

Why’d you marry him?

‘Cause I wanted to be like you and mom. I wanted a house and a car. Hell, I even wanted kids. But, love him? No, I did not. I don’t think I know what love is.

Don’t tell him any of this. Just let things be. That would put a world of hurt on him if he knew that.

I know. I know. …I’m gonna take off for awhile. Pawn my wedding ring. Get some money that way. I’ll come back in a month or two.

What ’bout your job? What ’bout him and the divorce? You just can’t take off like that.

I’m already gone dad. I’m already gone.

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