He’d lay there in bed with just the night light on. A blue glow coming from a wall. Falling asleep off and on while she laid next to him. She had plugs jammed in her ears. At times he would snore, talk loudly in his slumber. She tuned him out. No noise. Just dreams filled her head.
She always had dreams. Every night a movie rolled within. Pictures from the past. Men she’d been with; fallen in love with. There were a few. Boys from high school. First crush. Home coming dances. The night of her prom. One said he’d marry her. A smart kid who went off and joined the Marines. Wanted to see the world. She settled for this one next to her; a grocery manager. She knew he’d never leave. Always have a job. Not much, but, something.
And in some of those dreams she was driving away. Loading up the Dodge and taking off in the night. Leaving her husband to go on an adventure. Driving to Spokane, Albuquerque, Dallas, somewhere far, far, away. Starting all over. Then she’d wake up. Asked herself, Can you start all over at fifty-four? she laughed quietly. Turned over and looked at her choice for a husband. Rolled away from him as far as she could. And stared at the blue light.
Thirty years of marriage. Used to not be able to keep his hands off her. Now he just laid there like a used tire. No more tread; fat and flat.
And, she had lost her shape as well. Given up. Both had settled. There were bills to pay, routines to keep in order. He liked his eggs sunny side up. Coffee with cream. White toast. At night he’d have a beer and they’d watch TV ’till ten. Then go to bed where she’d dream. Just dream.