State Of Grace

You have no business talking to me like that, the kid said. You just sit there and keep your mouth shut, he told him. I don’t need any advice from you. Your days of telling me what to do are over, the kid said to the old man. Just sit there and be quiet, he said, pointing the gun at him. Don’t get any ideas, kid looked out the trailer’s window. I’ve been onto you for a long time. My whole life, he said. I know where you’ve been. Know where you’re going at night. You thought you were smart. I knew. Mom knew. We all knew. Telling us stories the whole time. Lies. Great big whoppers. So now just sit there and be quiet.

I don’t have to take this, the old man said.

You don’t have much of a choice, the boy moved in closer with the rifle. A buckshot was in the barrel. How many times did you cheat on her?


I’ll tell you. All the time. Couldn’t keep your dick in your pants.

Now hold on a minute. That ain’t right, the old man stammered.

I said sit down.

I’m telling you. You got it all wrong. I provided for this family God damn it. Gave it everything I had….


I’m just saying. I took my responsibilities seriously. I loved my family. Might not have shown it to you physically. But, the money was always there.

Look where we live damn you. Look. It was never there. You asked me for money. You old drunk. I should just shoot you right now.

Why don’t you?

Maybe I will. Maybe, he held the gun tighter. This some kind of joke to you? Some kind of laugh riot? he placed the gun to the old man’s head.

Now wait, dad said. Just you wait. I want to die in a state of grace. Give me that chance. Just give me that chance.

On the count of three…

Lord I am a sinner…


I have sinned against you…


I have sinned against others….


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