dmseay

looked through his garbage…couldn’t find a thing at first…no clues…nothin’…just empty cans…pork and beans…Chef Boyardee…bunch of Pepsi bottles…plastic kind…and there was this swarm of flies everywhere…flies and bumble bees buzzin’ ’round…makin’ it hard to concentrate…forgot what I was lookin’ for…just some kinda’ trace of him…a picture…an old used wallet…somethin’ I could hold onto…somethin’ I could keep…so I raked through the trash…found an old Boy Scout medallion…was all tarnished and lookin’ pretty beat…wondered why anybody’d throw that away…he loved bein’ a Scout…was real proud of that part of his life…real proud…so…I put it in my pocket…hold onto it…like some kinda’ lucky piece…some kinda’ lucky piece…

where were ya’…

out on the backroads…

drivin’ like a crazy person ‘gain…

yep…like a bat outta’ Hell…

why ya’ gotta’ go and do that all the time…

don’t know…just wanna’…makes me feel free…like I’m floatin’…

doesn’t scare ya’…

nothin’ scares me…

death…

naw…death don’t scare me…

don’t…

nope…ya’ know Jesus was a drag racer…

how ya’ figure…

just know it…had no fears…probably drove an old Charger…American made…

didn’t have cars durin’ his time…

sure they did…probably played chicken too…defyin’ death straight on every chance he got…

see…

I’m just livin’ a Christian life pop…that’s all…just livin’ a Christian life…

what…you think this is nice and neat…all clean and tidy like…transparent…listen…somebody’s gotta get their hands dirty…there’s a price to be paid…you don’t get somethin’ for nothin’…all these do-gooders walkin’ ’round thinkin’ things just happen over night on a handshake…just not the way it is when you got somethin’ in the game…people get greedy…their own self-interest will destroy ’em eventually…but for right now give ’em what they want…Mrs. Yablomowitz wants an extra trash can…give it to her…Reverand Johnny Johnson of the baptist church in the neighborhood wants a fee paid for preachin’ the gospel on Sunday…pay the man…buy the guy a beer on election day and he’ll swing your way…so be it…what…you’re short a turkey on Thanksgiving…we’ll take care of it…i do you a favor…you do me a favor…that’s how things get done…’least that’s how it used to be done…used to be…can’t count on anybody any more…what…you want dough…everybody wants dough…afterall…this is america…everything can be bought …everything can be sold…including you…including you…

Robert Paul Seay, loving husband of Kay Seay who has previously passed, departed from this life on December, 27, at 3:05 pm.
He is survived by five children, Robert Seay Jr.(Ginger),James Seay(Robin), Rebecca Ford(Jeremy), David Seay, and Joshua Seay; five grandchildren and two great grandchildren.
Born in Paris, Texas on April, 1st, 1940, He dedicated his life to a wife and family while maintaing an adventurous career in quality control.
Robert Paul Seay will be greatly missed by a number of friends, former co-workers, and fellow Eagle Scouts.

wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been…

didn’t feel any pain…

just kinda slipped onto the other side…

yep…all natural like…

think he’s there now…

don’t know…could be hangin’ out in the fourth dimension…some unfinished business to take care of…

might be right…

like reassurances from people that it’s o.k. to go…

think so…

had a lot on his mind…

yea…but he was inna hurry to see her…

that’s true…he wanted to get back to her as quick as possible…

ever since she passed on it’s all he talked ’bout…joinin’ up with her…

on the other side…

betcha they’re together now…

betcha you’re right…

some guys get a pass to go on straight through…

some guys are lucky…

yea…some guys are…

yep…on the other side…

the old man…
4-1-1940 to 12-27-2017

think he hears us…

might…

just layin’ there…snorin’…

fightin’ for air…

what’s he thinkin’ ’bout…

he’s not…

yea he is…

what…

his next move…

seen pictures of ’em…she was in a wedding dress…he was in some monkey suit…ridin’ inna’ old ’57…wavin’ at the camera…there was tin cans attached to the back bumper…

old black and whites showed a crowd with smiles on their faces…big old smiles like they was at some kinda’ circus with elephants doin’ tricks and clowns honkin’ each other’s noses…laughin’…carryin’ on…

but his mom looked so somber…very serious…sad really…always wondered why she looked so upset…always have…her boy was gettin’ married…maybe thats why…

just old pictures…old shots of family…old shots of family…

some coffee…

I can get it…

I’m up…

alright…

think he’s gone yet…

hard to say…

tough old dog ain’t he…

yep…

told him it was o.k. to leave us…said we’d be fine…could go on and be with mom and Jesus…

think he heard ya’…

do…bet he did…must’ve…

think maybe he’s already gone…

heart’s beatin’…blood pressure…

that soul’s already left…can tell…he’s been waitin’ to go for a long time now…just been waitin’…ya’ know…

I know…I know…

storm’s comin’…should be here by noon…makin’ everything all white…pure…

you think snow makes everything pure…just gets all gray and black over time…

yep…does…we get all gray and black over time…lookin’ for a cleansin’…somethin’ to get me back on track…maybe this storm’ll do it…come and cover all that ails me…

think so…

oh I don’t know…wishful thinkin’…my soul’s been black for so long…long for the days when I was a kid…played in the white stuff for hours…til my hands turned red…cold and wet…and inside I felt pure…innocent…

you were innocent…you were a kid…

wanna go back to bein’ a kid…back to when a snow storm meant somethin’…back to just playin’…just playin’…hours…

no more playin’…we all gotta grow up some day…

snow’s of no use to us now…is that what you’re sayin’…no need to go out in it and make snow angels…snow men…put snow down your best friend’s back…laugh…

I’m just sayin’ it’s better when it’s gone…melted…maybe all in one day…

‘spose so…I just want it to be pure again…

what is it that you’re gettin’ at…you keep talkin’ and talkin’ but you make no sense…just a kinda’ senseless babble…the kind your mother used to make ’round the house when she was sweepin’ or cookin’…real cockeyed talk…drove me up the wall…couldn’t stand it…couldn’t stand her…that’s it…figured it out…you’re turnin’ into your mother…soon you’ll be just like her…talkin’ nonsense all the time…it’ll be just like I’m livin’ with your mom…and I remember how she got real crazy ‘fore she passed…real goofy like…talkin’ ’bout how everyone had abandoned her…left her for dry…you see it happenin’ to ya’ now don’t ya’…gradually…little by little you’ll metamorphosize into an old babbling broad who never stops talkin’…it’ll be sheer chaos ’round here and I’ll have to be the one to call the shots…damn it…should’ve seen this comin’…maybe I did…just denied it all these years…and you’re startin’ to put on weight too…gettin’ a little heavy ’round the hips…Jesus…I should just run now…leave ‘fore it gets any messier…kids could take care of ya’…they owe ya’ that…I’d stay but you’re just gonna’ slow me down…I still got energy in my bones…still got some zip…who am I kiddin’…stuck…should’ve never married ya’…should’ve just left when you squeezed out the first one…what a disappointment that kid turned out to be…’member when we thought he was gonna be somethin’…a lawyer or a doctor or a CEO…somethin’ important in America…somethin’ we could hang our hats on…he had to go out and knock up a girl too…like father like son huh…oh well…happy New Year honey…hell…let’s see what it brings…