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dmseay

  • this son…

    September 6th, 2016

    kept goin’…walked away from one kinda’ fear into another…always has…least since I can remember…

    this constant need to travel…go somewhere…in-search of what…somethin’ better…maybe a second chance…

    never the type to stay in one-place… always these calls we’d get from all-over…bizzare places…like Moscow, Texas…Paris, Tennessee…Kukamonga…

    they’d talk for an hour or so…an’ when she got off that phone she’d shake her head a few times, What a strange boy, she’d say, A strange boy…,just nod my head..

    don’t think he ever knew what he was doin’…completely unaware of any kinda’ repercussions…there’s always repercussions…oh well…
    he’ll be back…you’ll see…maybe ‘fore fall…winter…liked ta’ see the leaves change…said it was God’s paint-brush…

    used ta’ take me on these long afternoon drives…interstate…backroads…up in Michigan…over in Ohio…we’d just sit there…drivin’…not a word…maybe he was waitin’ on me ta’ say somethin’…I was waitin’ on him…

    that’s that..

    he’ll be back…tellin’ ya’…might be a year…maybe ten…who knows…but he’ll come through town again…broke as always…

    you’ll see…

    know one thing…

    I’ll be gone…

  • listenin’…

    September 5th, 2016

    he just got so jealous…crazy I guess you could say…

    yep…I know the type…

    he’d never had a woman like her before…easy to talk to…real pretty…very pretty…

    blonde…

    yes…blonde…

    uh huh…

    he tried everyway imaginable to make her his…his alone…wanted so badly to be with her…all the time…all the time… liked to listen to her talk…

    talk….

    yes…just sit there on the couch and talk…hours…listenin’to her past… mistakes…they’d both made mistakes…

    right…

    and he loved to hear her laugh…real laugh…nothing fake…she got him…knew what he was about…

    we often do…

    ‘spose…this was different…

    how so…

    hard ta’ say…was…

    how’d they meet…

    some… computer thing…this friend knew that friend and that friend knew this friend…

    small world…

    yes…

    what happened…

    he was this travelin’ troubadour…romantic way of sayin’ a bum…

    no…maybe different…

    yes…different…

    nothin’ wrong with that…

    no…no there’s not…anyway…they’d send messages to each other…at night before sleep…in the morning when they’d wake-up…he relied on this…comforted him…

    I see…

    told her of his love…for her…took a chance…

    yea…what’d she say…

    she knew…she knew…and she cared deeply for him as well…

    but…

    yes…but…

    what’s wrong…

    nothing…nothing…you wanna drink…

    you O.K. …

    ’bout some whiskey…feel like whiskey…

    sure…

    …thanks…

    what…

    listenin’…

  • non for profit…

    September 5th, 2016

    this is done…finished…and at what cost…this is America…and inside the belly of the beast success is marked by cost and profit…right…

    yes…

    so…I’ll ask again…at what cost…

    hard to tell…

    you need numbers…stats…figures…what.. 

    well I…

    no…no…your gut…it’s the gut you fuck…a guy knows or he does not…take the stacks of paper…the personal computer…and this will be done with…

    there are assessments…

    yes…based on…

    facts…simple facts…

    fuck facts…facts do not allow the possible…got it…the possible is beyond what is presented…uh…right…

    the numbers give way…

    to nothing…to nothing…you don’t like something…change it…with the stroke of a key…change it…

    that is…

    what…what…a misrepresentation…a fudging of “facts”….

    I’m saying…

    no…it is giving some poor fuck hope…hope…that he too can survive in the muck…he can attain something…

    that’s not…

    right…not just…who makes these rules…uh…who…did you…me…the mensch on the upper westside…some fuck in Queens…

    O.K. …

    O.K. …what…a change in perception…of face…you are either in or you are out and that is that do not ask again…clear…are we clear…

    ….sure…

    give somebody hope…just give it to them…what’ll it cost you…

  • God help us…

    September 5th, 2016

    sat listening to this preacher talk and talk…endless talk…of wrongs…evil in the world…some kind of restitution needed… buy now…

    a selling of jesus…promises made if instructions followed…streets of gold…mansions…God doesn’t want suffering…an American prescription…

    rewarded…told by a deity, job well done…enter my kingdom, this shopping mall dream…a brand-new body and an everlasting joy…the big pay-off…

    and guns are fired…people killed…judgments made…the instant images of death we’ve become immune to…radical Islam…Christian Conservatives…you tell me the difference…

    forgive them father…for they know not what they do…

    no…they do not…

  • patience Murray…

    September 4th, 2016

    could’ja tell…

    what…

    our friend…

    yes…

    right…

    fucker…

    yes…

    who does he think he is…who…

    no idea…

    what’s done is done…no more complaints…no more constant babble…fuckin’ old woman…

    I know…

    and for what…who benefited…did you…me…not on your life…he certainly didn’t…so…the cost right…

    right…

    this cost the cocksucker dearly…more than a pound of flesh…shekels…a whole line of credit gone…

    and for what…

    yes…for what…

    nothing gained…not-a-thing…not in the long…nothing in the short…a complete loss…

    yea..

    this is what happens…

    this…

    this is what happens to men who get sidetracked…no focus…just get-in…get-out…what good does that do…

    doesn’t…

    bingo…well…good riddens…

    yes…

    let this be a lesson…

    always a lesson..yes Murray…always a lesson…

    yes…

    separates us from the fucking animals…this ability to learn lessons…

    I know…

    he did not have that ability…fucking chimpanzee…fucking ape…nothing learned…that’s what we take from this…

    yes…

    patience Murray….always patience…

  • or…did we…

    September 4th, 2016

    and we did not make love…

    words…words…words…softly said…listening…listening…

    talk of where the soul journeys after…beyond this weigh-station… clearing-house…

    cigarettes and red wine…a stain on a white-tee…a cat named El Gato making his rounds…pour another glass…yes…yes…

    laughing at foolishness…our foolishness…a kiss…an embrace…her back touched lightly…playful licks…no harm…

    music left it’s mark…we sang along…old songs…lyrical poems of promise…passion…somebody who cares…we both wanted someone who cared…

    held throughout night…she slept…an occasional brush of blonde hair from green eyes closed…arm around her soft belly…shhh…let dreams happen…

    legs entangled…awakened to a touch..morn came upon us….two people…two friends…damn that sun…

    and we did not make love…

    or…did we…

  • punchline…(to the rise and fall of the American male)

    September 3rd, 2016

    his needs were catered to…the cooking…castle cleaned…laundry done…stupid jokes laughed at…always placed first…insecurities demanded it…

    no empire was built…never a great amassed wealth…crumbs fought-over at Sunday dinners…he’d laugh at two brothers wrestling for a biscuit…piece of bread…anything placed before us…never enough…

    what were they thinking…these two…kids playing house…kids having kids…kids…kids…kids…was it ever anything more than make-believe…couldn’t tell…afraid to ask…

    and now he sits on a pauper’s thrown…alone…alone…watching television and grinning at other’s misfortunes…miscues…mistakes…just sits there…howling…

    i wonder if he knows…gets it…he didn’t win…he did not win…

    that… is the punchline…

  • cell-mates…

    September 2nd, 2016

    what’d you make of this…

    I don’t…

    you don’t…

    I don’t…

    no opinion…

    no…

    mouth shut huh…

    I said… mouth shut huh…

    heard’ja…

    how’d we end-up in this…this…

    what…mess…jam…soup…

    yes…

    by being who we are…what we are…

    right…

    only explanation…

    ‘spose…

    you think otherwise…something else…what…an occurrence…an event…

    don’t know…

    right…right…

    do know this…didn’t happen overnight…this took time…effort…guys in the know…

    sure…

    always somethin’…

    yep…always…always…

    goodnight…

    goodnight…

  • not a soul…

    September 2nd, 2016

    and here i am…after being in your arms…along-side…love does funny things…lovers do…lovers do…

    jazz put us to slumber…tucked-away for night…kissed…kissed…go to sleep whispered…count backwards as piano fades…steal one last peck…

    when shall we meet again…on what continent…in which dream…i am always close-by…awaiting…awaiting…a voice says Hello…i hear you…i hear you…

    New York is in order…a walk holding hands…an embrace in Washington Square…this love-drunken babble…do i embarrass myself…do i…

    a poet has nothing to lose…risk it all for a midnight stroll…a waltz down avenues past diners…gas-lit lanterns…cobble-stone streets…landmarks now marked as mecca where artists once gathered…greater crimes have been committed…

    until next time my sweet…til next time…your picture placed with other secrets…shhh…

    your words are safe with me…

  • shakedown…

    September 1st, 2016

    you know what kind of guy doesn’t talk…those that don’t have to….

    right…

    this business…the out-maneuvering of this player…that dealer…all thinking what…

    ….um..

    big shots…

    yea…

    all of ’em…

    right…

    not the time of day would they give you… nothing…and why is this…

    ….I gotcha….

    ’cause they don’t have to…your end is not needed…a lie will suffice…a manipulation…a slight…

    ethics ..

    ethics…toss those out the mother-fuckin window…

    well…

    what country do you live-in…what…

    just sayin’….

    no…don’t…stop…

    look…

    shhhh…enough…enough I tell you…

    I hear you…

    do you…am I clear…I will not repeat myself…

    no…

    can only hope you were listenin’…

    yes…

    tell me…

    what…

    what I just said…repeat it back to me…

    what…like a code of honor…a rule of which we follow…

    some balls…you got some balls…nothing has been learned…nothing…

    guess not…

    guess not …well fuck me…fuck me…

    are you finished…

    no…not…

    what…

    how much cash you got on ya’…

    $40…

    give me $20…no…fuck you…break the $20 and give me $25…fuck me no fuck you…

    here…here…just take this…take it…

    this’ll do…this will do…

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