• About
    • About Me
    • Blog
    • My Work

dmseay

  • Midwest town…

    April 24th, 2017

    listenin’ to Monk at 3 this morn…Charlie down the hall leaves the toilet runnin’…his girlfriend yells out…,Christ…shake the handle…,and he curses under his breath ’bout how ungrateful she is to have a roof over her head and she wails…,get in bed…get in bed…, as i sit here typing away to all of america’s misery in the heartland where used car-lots…used furniture…used women are on every corner selling their wares to hopeless Joes who let the one slip away years ago into the hands of their best friend Bill…told ya’ he was no-good…told ya’…

    and now Ella sings I loves you Porgy while a deal goes down in the alley by the church where yesterday i prayed for forgiveness and for your soul too but is it too late…is it too late…hands are shook…a broad smacks her gum and drags on a menthol as cop cars pass by a green neon sign blinking…,Mannie’s Tacos…Mannie’s Tacos…Mannie’s Tacos…,in cursive of course…he was always fancy that way…chicks dug ’em…

    Chet Baker closes out the set with Funny Valentine…and i think of you…i think of you…,”don’t change a hair for me…not if you care for me…,” well do ya’…do ya’…

    it is pitch black…streetlights yawn…porch lamps cough an’ wheeze…cough an’ wheeze…with engines sputtering and middle- aged men moanin’…the kitchen colors go from bright to dim…bright to dim…

    and the day begins again…again…
    in a Midwest town that hope forgot about long ago…long ago…

    time for a danish…

  • welcome to Washington Heights

    April 23rd, 2017

    darkness of night…everyone lookin’ to score…crackwhores workin’ telephone lines…junkies chasin’ the horse down a back alley…herb sold here…meth sold there…Pedro has a line on an 8 ball round the corner from where you live…the playground that kids shoot hoops at…metal chains clank in the breeze…

    an’ the cruisers drive-by…eyein’ little boys who should be home in bed…Catholic school girls breakin’ curfew…bangers walkin’ pit bulls…blue rags an’ do-rags…gang tags…tattooed teardrops in honor of the lost souls left behind…may they rest in peace….rest in peace…

    drinks go down while clownin’ ’round with Jesse…Tamika…Lonnie…an’ Ray Ray…talkin’ ’bout back when smack was taboo…crack was whack….nowadays anything goes…for real man…for real…just tryin’ to keep it real…

    old men stumble-by…talkin’ of how the neighborhood’s changed…from bad to worse…should’ve seen it comin’…should’ve seen it comin’…

    but no-one noticed…no-one noticed…

    darkness of night…

    darkness of night…

    welcome to Washington Heights….

  • settled…

    April 22nd, 2017

    this old brown leather chair has cracks in it…small pieces fall-off each time it is sat-in…a constant sweep…a constant sweep…cushion turned upside-down…hiding it’s tears…hiding it’s years like a socialite…forever young…forever young…

    and i was a gypsy…a strolling vagabond… no home…possessions…there were none…all was disposable…carted to a dumpster in a moment’s notice…discarded clothes…discarded books…discarded life…everything is temporary…

    it was New York streets…sleeping in corners of the Midtown library…under trees in Central Park…keeping track of bathroom codes at Starbucks…coffee and buttered rolls at Apostle’s Church…week-long vacations at Bellevue…who says bein’ crazy is crazy…

    longing for you old brown chair…wanting to be comforted…by something strong…heavy…stable…you have not let me down…you have not let me down…

    i sit this morn in a lap of love…do not throw this away…do not…for it is mine to keep…hold- on…hold on…

    you are home…

  • back to you…

    April 21st, 2017

    and my thoughts race in this early morn…backwards they go…to Montreal…Montpelier…Philly…New Haven…New York…always the next town…always the next ….leaving in the black of night…north and south on 95…north and south…winding my way from Maine to Virginia…jazz on midnight radio…driving and driving and driving…borrowing money from ex-wives…ex-friends…ex-lovers…and enemies…whatever it took to keep the gas tank off E…food in my belly…booze on my lips…this i did in rememberance of thee…

    leaving mortgages behind…Saturday morning mowing sessions with a lawn that never gave-up a fight…trash detail on Sunday evenings…mid-week moanings of humpday blues with boredom between me and you…boredom between me and you…and i wanted this and you wanted that…never did we meet…never…just a cold war in an old house with tomatoes on the vine and daffodils and lilacs…and lillies…and Japanese maples showing growth each year…each year…

    but not us…our love broke-down with each season…nothing new…same old same old…till the wanting stopped…the wanting stopped…

    and i hit the road…leaving a mess behind…unpaid bills…traffic tickets…dirty dishes…a dog named Floyd…said i was goin’ out for a six pack and never came back…a note left on a pillow…

    and my thoughts race in this early morn…backwards they go…to Montreal…Montpelier…Philly… New Haven…New York…

    and you…yes you…
    my thoughts go back to you…

  • empty…

    April 20th, 2017

    step away…
    there is nothing to write…
    nothing that comes to mind…
    a blank stare at the keyboard…
    empty…

    transfixed on something that simply is not there…no thoughts…no words…just an empty sheet of paper before me…nothing…

    and i want to fill that paper as i do each morn…with sentences…dashes and dots…dashes and dots…dialogue…monologue…a poem perhaps…yet there is nothing…

    hear the early morn bird in the darkness calling-out for the sun…see streetlamps flicker…porchlights shimmer…the stop sign across the street from St. Pat’s where a boy bleed from a gunshot wound on a Sunday eve…but…nothing comes to mind…

    i am empty…the pen is dry today…

    empty…

  • all my possessions…

    April 19th, 2017

    an old combination to a New York City locker was found in my bookbag…30 to the right…34 turn left…then swing back to the right to hit 11…protected all my possessions…

    toothbrush…check…
    toothpaste…check…
    Speedstick…check…
    Moby Dick…check…
    couple of wash cloths…check…
    some tee-shirts…check…
    notebook and pens…check…
    On The Road by Kerouac…check…
    phone charger…check…
    Tropic Of Cancer…always carry Miller…check…
    pictures of you…check…

    days spent wandering ’round the city…walking 10 miles a day…riding the subway and studying the guy next to you…the business woman in glasses…homeless people begging…kids selling candy…card tricks…a black man rappin’ ’bout this town gettin’ him down…and Midwestern tourists looking-on with fear and wonderment…

    it was nights spent in metal chairs…boys hustlin’ in hotel rooms by Times Square…needles strewn along sidewalks in Union…$7 for a pint of beer…smokes goin’ for $12 a pack…and the sweet smell of pot on corners throughout Washington Heights…

    was $ slices…cherry pie at a diner with a cup of joe…selling food stamps for 40%. to an Arab in the Bronx…making ends meet…

    and lines…lines…lines…endless lines all the time…lines for social security…lines for tb tests…lines for lunch at the drop-in centers and churches…lines for tour buses…lines for the latest Jordan’s…lines leading back to you in a dreary small town…a dreary small town…

    an old combination to a New york City locker was found in my book bag…30 to the right…34 turn left…then swing back to the right to hit 11…protected all my possessions…

    all my possessions…

  • toad-n-the-hole…

    April 18th, 2017

    is mom in the backroom….

    no pop…

    funny…I could’ve swore I heard her back there…messin’ ’round like she always does…foldin’ clothes…listenin’ to Neil Diamond or somethin’ or other…

    no dad…she’s not back there…

    huh…smelled her too…that lotion she wears…Jergens…

    yea…

    always putin’ on lotion…never gets enough of that stuff…puts it on her arms and legs and face too…I’ve grown used to it…

    well…yea…could see that…

    thought I saw her this morning in the kitchen frying eggs and bacon…toad-n-the-holes…

    toad-n-the-holes…i ‘member those from bein’ a kid…gotta’ use white bread for ’em…

    yea…well she made ’em this mornin for me…the yolk was hard and the little circle she cut-out was soft…just the way I like it…

    dad…she…

    you sure she’s not back there in the bedroom…I heard her singin’ along to Dionne Warwick…singin’ Do You Know The Way To San Jose…real pretty-like…

    you heard her huh…

    didn’t you…

    no pop…

    maybe ‘fore you got here…she was singin’ up a storm…”I’m goin’ back to find… some peace of mind in San Jose…”

    so she was singin’ huh…

    oh yea…always singin’…go back there an’ knock on the door an’ tell her I’m ready to go…

    can’t do that dad…

    why…

    ’cause…

    awe hell I’ll do it myself….

    dad…

    just knock on the door an’ tell her it’s time to go….

    pop…

    Kay…Kay….

    dad…she’s not…

    Kay…Kay…why won’t she answer me…

    she’s gone dad…she’s gone…

    oh yeah…

    yeah…

    where’d she go…

    don’t know pop…don’t know…

    you don’t know…

    no…don’t know…

    “do you know the way to San Jose….I’m goin’ back to find…”

    Do You KnowThe Way To San Jose, written by Burt Bacharach and Hal David

  • getting uglier and liking it..

    April 17th, 2017

    belly droops…teats sag…gray mixes-in with what was once jet-black…and the stares from the broads become less and less and less…

    sitting naked at this typewriter…an inventory of honesty…naked at midnight hour…a new skin-tag appeared yesterday…and a mole the day before…

    hazy-brown eyes behind bi-focals…circles of purple and black…purple and black…getting uglier and liking it…

    hair on the back…the ass becomes concave…ankles pop when walking in the rain on November days…truth becomes easier…easier…

    and the houses and the vacations and the wives and the cars and the careers and the moving from town to town to town and the Greyhound bus ticket from a one way excursion of youth and the whores and the drinks and the midnight joints and the old time haunts and Manhattan…and Manhattan….gone now…gone…

    autumnal walks at noon…colors of leaves painted trees…morning coffee alone…alone…why is this poem so-hard to write…

    belly droops…teats sag…gray mixes-in with what was once jet black…and the stares from the broads become less and less and less…

  • the kiss of a million years…

    April 16th, 2017

    didn’t hear you come-in…
    waited…and waited…
    to wish you good morn…
    hold you in this coolness…
    there were other plans…

    dreamt in my slumber…
    of a kiss…
    that was all…
    just a kiss….
    nothing else required…

    held my neck…
    grabbed me…
    body and soul…
    lips full…
    heart trembled…

    walked-away…
    not looking-back…
    leaving you behind…
    too long…too long…
    our’s was the kiss of a million years…

    didn’t hear you come-in…
    waited…and waited…
    to wish you good morn…
    hold you in this coolness…
    there were other plans…

  • a clock that doesn’t tick…

    April 15th, 2017

    loneliness at 1:30…
    a jar of Cafe Bustelo instant coffee…
    heat comes through the windows…
    bare walls…
    voices inside a head…

    small lamps giving-off light…
    a Ted Hughes book of poetry…
    the story of Tom Joad…
    squared wooden nightstand…
    blankets wadded-up in a ball…

    sweat stains on a $50 pilllow…
    the girl that got away…
    tea cups with pictures of hamlets…
    a brown ottoman…
    this keyboard pounded-on…

    white blinds opened to a black night…
    porch lights on…
    church on the corner…
    wooden fire-escapes…
    gunshots going-off…

    dirty clothes in a bin…
    cigarette smoke through the vents…
    this desk i write-on…
    keys to a car that will soon be gone…
    silver for bus fare…pennies for…pennies for…

    a book-bag carrying Moby Dick…
    clothes folded somewhat…
    copper mugs…
    a pen from a gym i don’t go-to…
    limp phone chargers…

    corkscrew…bottle-opener…
    a suicide prevention magnet…
    an empty fridge…
    street lights flicker
    a Padre Pio medallion…

    loneliness at 1:30…
    a jar of Cafe Bustelo instant coffee…
    heat comes through the windows…
    bare walls…
    voices inside a head…

    a clock that doesn’t tick…

←Previous Page
1 … 197 198 199 200 201 … 261
Next Page→

Blog at WordPress.com.

  • Subscribe Subscribed
    • dmseay
    • Join 36 other subscribers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • dmseay
    • Subscribe Subscribed
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar