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dmseay

  • sales…

    October 28th, 2016

    knew ’em when he sold used-cars to old ladies on Sullivan Street…pensions parted with…dead men rolling in graves….

    said ta’ left town…figured only so many lives… bank job…get-in…get the money…get-out…real cool like…

    he was at a truck-stop a few counties over in this past midnight haze…eatin’ chilli…yackin’ it up with smoky brunette waitresses…pin-up girl wannabe’s…

    Gotta deal for ya hon’…., heard Slick say, No money upfront…notta dime down…take one…’bout two…, shuck-n-jive had the broads jumpin’ while red-eyed truckers drank coffee…waitin’ on numbers to be called, Shower 125…Shower 125…you’re up sweety…, soundin’ like Jane Russell…maybe…early morn plays tricks…

    an’ i watched…tempting tongue…listened ’till sun come-up…what talk…real skill…

    where’d i go wrong…

  • the pimp’s girlfriend…

    October 27th, 2016

    tis morn…always morn…

    3 o’clock… lonely time…

    purple hours…

    awaiting what…

    cup of joe… peek of sun…touch of your hand…

    darkness…offers no comfort…never did…yet…i lay in it’s mystery…every night…every night…

    where were you my love… his name…cool car…did he buy dinner…

    nice work if you can get it…

    perhaps i should’ve tried harder…it was all so easy…pain always is…no rest…overtime guarenteed…

    tis ’round in bars…bedrooms…backseats…back-alleys…brothels with timecards always punched…no need to look…the slap is coming…

    tick tock…tick tock…tick tock…

    and in this morn i wait for what…what…a girl… fix… temporary savings…

    honey…I’m home…

  • weird…

    October 26th, 2016

    don’t force…

    but…

    just…

    o.k. …..

    its knowing when to walk away…

    away….

    yes…leave it alone…let it be…

    you’ve learned this…

    yea…too many times… over and over and over….

    keep making this mistake….

    that’s the mark of insanity…

    yes…same result…same crazy results over and over and over….

    so…I learned to walk away…sometimes…sometimes….

    and then it comes to you…

    sure…or…something completely different…you never planned…

    that’s when its best…

    yes…no maps…diagrams…don’t design it ….she’ll come to you….

    or not…

    or not….

    and then…

    next story…next poem… lyric…but you have to walk away…

    gotcha…

    has to breath…this same mistake…choking her to death…what’d is getcha….

    what ’bout discipline…writing when there’s nothing there…

    how do you do that…really…how…

    that’s part of the craft…

    no…that’s an assembly line…k….that’s soulless…..

    think…

    when you make love…do you storyboard every move ahead of time…perhaps a plotted orgasm…tickling tits at the exact time…

    well…

    poor girl….poor fucking girl….shame on you…and what comes from that…

    writing and fucking are two different things…..

    really….you think…

    has ta’…..

    right…and this is the problem….no writing…romance…spontaneous fucking…

    I…

    it is gone…left along time ago…walked out the door in backpacks carried by Ginsberg…Kerouac….Bukowski…and that old man at the bar who no-one’s seen for years…you want a planned out piece of writing….type-up insurance forms….cashback guarantees….recording contracts….right…

    ‘spose…

    mmm….’spose…gotta go….

    lift…

    walk…gonna walk…

    weird this time ah night….

    yes…yes….I like weird….

     

  • America’s insomnia …

    October 26th, 2016

    this need of doing something…

    flighty fidgeting fucking…enough…

    television…telephone…texting…talking to strangers in Bangladesh…anything but poetry…

    meditation is needed…locked away in solace…kept apart…from them and this and these and they.. and…and…now i lay thee down to…

    noise…it never goes away…i sleep to the serenade of gunshots…old Leonard Cohen songs…boys-n- girls up and down the block play midnight games of tag…you’re it….Hallelujah…Hallelujah…Hallelujah…

    let’s rest our bones…put our souls in slumber…while America’s insomnia continues into  morn…

    shhhh…stop twitching…shaking…talking…too much…too…too…much…

    here’s a buck… now…go away…

  • a clown…

    October 25th, 2016

    she laughed…

    at you…

    no…

    sure…

    yes…

    then what…

    just laughed…

    doesn’t happen…

    a laugh…

    not for the sake of laughing…

    mmm….

    gotta be a source…

    you’re saying…

    you my friend…are the fountain…

    fountain…

    she comes to you when…

    when…

    yes…when…when she needs to laugh…

    at me…

    this is your purpose…

    that’s what i am…

    look…I’m saying…

    got it…not a fountain…a clown…

    O.K. ….a clown…yes…a clown…

    so…

    what’dya want…

    need a drink…

    yes…don’t we all…

  • transcend…

    October 25th, 2016

    somethin’ out there…’side…

    what’dya think…

    don’t know…

    dog…coyote….

    naw…not sure…movin’ ’round…just two colored glows…guess eyes…who knows…

    coffee…

    too late…

    back ta’ sleep…

    nope…can’t…

    thinkin’ ’bout…

    yea…that too…what is that…

    gotta’ stop…it’ll kill ya’…

    ‘spose…she liked autumn…

    yea…she did…

    used to go on these drives…everyday…get in the car an’ go….

    where to…

    all over…didn’t matter…Ohio…Michigan…sometimes Kentucky…

    long rides…

    nothin’ but time…keeps movin’…pacin’…look at it…like he owns the place…

    no coffee…

    naw…goin’ out to the garage for awhile…

    O.K. ….

    you seen that gun I had…

    shotgun…

    yea… shotgun…

    it’s 3 in the mornin’….

    yea…

    you miss her…huh…

    ….you seen that gun…

  • 501…

    October 24th, 2016

    yesterday i posted my 500th piece on this poetry/prose/essay/hybrid experimental journal…an exercise that wakes me…what word sounds better…cut…cut…cut…always cutting…sanding…a task which never ends…never…

    it is discipline…craft…love…need…cathartic…confession…and soul…not a thing…nor a word do i regret placing on the page at 3 in the morning…again…Mailer was right…it is the spooky art …

    i am consumed by writing…listening and watching America in homeless shelters…beggars on street corners…whores in late night bars… diners with redhead waitresses…psych-wards…pills popped and shots taken by crazies…junkies…detoxed drunks…children left behind…a home where death awaits while memories slip past hour by hour by hour…abandoned malls…burnt-out cars… a love affair with a beautiful blonde…who will forever mystify me…

    of these i write…

    late nights at The Pepper Pod…Port Authority…Irish dives…busses taken up and down and all around…stops in Cinci…Pittsburgh…New York…that terrible terminal in Toledo…listening to jazz in parks as the good citizenry of a country gone crazy walk by…pushing strollers…pushing tea…pushing…pushing…to get-by…aren’t we all…

    i am a writer…not an author…a writer…this is craft…discipline…not fashion…

    shame-on those that pose…

    it is 4 in the morning…

    goodnight…

  • Martians in Ole Miss…

    October 23rd, 2016

    ever tell ya’ ’bout the time in Mississippi when this thing…this flyin’ thing landed inna’ field creatin’ this big round circle of burnt grass an’ weeds…it was aflame…

    no…

    that dog was wanderin’ ’round like a cat-n-heat… constantly waggin’ his tail inna’ nervous sorta’ way…on the verge of barkin’ out loud…but remainin’ silent…shhh.

    yea…

    nobody knew what ta’ think…stood there…whole town just lookin’…bettin’ they was Martians…

    uhhuh…

    this lady got took up into space with ’em…brought her back…didn’t say a word for nearly two months…then she told some strange tales…

    right…

    they was Martians…in Tupelo, Mississippi…Google it…they’ll tell ya’…

    ‘believe ya’…

    seen your mom ’round…

    dad…mom’s gone…

    gone …

    passed away last spring…

    oh …uh…ain’t that somethin’…

  • go away…

    October 23rd, 2016

    go away…

    go…just leave…

    no clearances needed…nor hall-passes…

    permission never granted…

    and you wait…and wait…and wait…

    momentum stalled…was it ever there…

    who calls the shots…listening for what…an authoritative voice…told the course to take…

    this guy on the bus wearing a hat of red…white…and blue…stating…FREEDOM ISN’T FREE…

    well…no…it’ll cost…

    it will cost…

    comforts are not free…a price for peace…solace at premiums…marked-down tags for love hung on sales-racks…50% off…act now…

    leave…your ticket’s been bought…

    it is time…

  • a ride with Josh while the radio played…

    October 22nd, 2016

    look at the trees…

    yea…

    colors…

    uhuh…

    clouds…

    looks like rain…

    yes…it does…

    (said somethin’ about goin’ home…)

    tired of rain…

    uhuh…

    pretty soon snow…

    yep…

    (said somethin’ about needing to  spend some time alone)

    I miss mom…

    i know…

    she in heaven…

    see the birds flying South…

    (and she wondered out loud what it was she had to find)

    is that where people go…

    to heaven…

    yea…

    if they’re good Josh…if they’re good…

    and mom’s in heaven…

    (but she’s already made up her mind…already made up her mind)

    look at the trees Josh…

    I see them…I see them…why are you crying…

    don’t know Josh…don’t know…

    (already made up her mind….)

    *She’s Already Made Up Her Mind…by Lyle Lovett.

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